my creativeness

the pain of you leaving...

2009-05-14T06:34:00.000-07:00

i feel really sad about what's happening now... may be this is really the wake up call for me that things will never ever be the same between us. i know that this pain will remain for a while but then i can get thru all of this. you always say that i'am strong and that i will be a versy successful person someday and i'm gonna prove that to you. and when that time comes you will regret the day that you let me go... i loved you for who you are and what you've become... i have always been there for you no matter what but then maybe we were really not meant to be... cause my friends are right... if you really love me you could not have the guts to tell that to me... but hey... that's you... and like what you've said... you grew up in the western way... so i can't blame you for being like that and you can't blame me either. like the saying

"pagsisisi ay parating nasa huli"

i'm not the one who would feel this... i'm sure that it's you... sorry for all of my short comings but this time i know that i've had enough.. and enough is enough... no more martyrdome...

it's painful but i have to let you go...

-xoxo-

heartaches... :(

2009-05-04T05:05:00.000-07:00

after a long time i get to write again... well so many things had happened for the past weeks and months... you may say that i may have been so dramatic.. hahaha... well in some instances it's true... sometimes i cry every night just because of the same thing... now i could really say that things in this world are really unpredictable. you can't always get what you want and let go of what you don't like... people come and go and sometimes when they leave they always leave a mark in your heart... it's just a lesson that you should be careful and you should be sure of what decisions you would be making... because once it has been said and done it's really hard to get it back... pain is just measurable by numbers... a scale of 1 to 10 maybe... but you must always remember that pain even though is there and being felt in a period of time will fade away... you must let time pas by and let your feelings flow so that it would be easier for one to let go... letting go is never that easy... you may think that letting go is just as easy as 1,2,3.. no it's not it's harder than anyone would've ever thought of... letting go would happen if you would accept the facts why this and that happened... you just need to smile and let the feelings flow...

Great Week!

2009-02-28T21:11:00.000-08:00

A very tiring but still a very enjoyable week had passed.
No classes for a wekk was so relaxing but still stressful coz we still went to school because of the intramural.
Yesterday was the most exciting day for everyone for the cheering competitions was the next event. We were the reigning champion for 5 years straight in the cheering competition and surprisingly we were eliminated. Well that's okay for us. It's just that we protest because before the contest started the announcer said that the winner would be selected by using the point system. after seeing all of the cheer dance each course had done announcement of winners was next..

to our surprise the judges suddenly changed there decision and said that they chose the winner by using the ranking system and not the point system so suddenly everything became a bi ass for us. We don't get upset because we didn't won at all it's just that when the rules and regulations of the competitions was announced the judges were already there and if they didn't want to use the point system i think it must be right for them to have said it before the competition ever started and not after the competition... am i right? i think i have a point...

Anyweiz...

Even if lots of things had happened this week which en favored the other campus it's still okay coz were still the over-all champion of 6 years now...

AND THAT TAKES ALL OUR BITTERNESS AWAY..!!

-xoxo-

Great!!!

2009-02-12T20:56:00.000-08:00

hehehehe... la lang kamuzta? long time no see... hahahahaha.... :)) la lang... la kasi ako magawa weh.... :D

-xoxo-

What a day...

2009-02-07T08:32:00.000-08:00

grabe... hai it's so hard to pretend that you're okay in front of a lot of people. tas deep inside bad yung feeling moh... hirap noh? pero okay lang.. carry naman... keiniz lang kasi bakit parang nagsusumbong kapa yata sa lover boi mo na di pa rin tayo okay? so feeling mo ba pag sinuhulan n'ya ako namakipag bati at maging okay na tayo eh we'll be fine na? well my dear lalo lang akong naiirita... which makes me to think na wag ng ituloy yung deciscion ko na makipag-ayos sayo after 50years... ngayon na isip ko forever na lang tayonh ganito... kasi in time masasanay na rin taio diba? at dahil sa'yong BAD GIRL ka need ko pa lumayo dun sa FRIENDS KO... not considering you one of them asa ka... hahaha.... pero intindi nila ako... and please don't attempt to confront me para makipag ayos dahil bala kung anu-ano lang marinig mo... ahhahahaha....

:)

-xoxo-

another day...

2009-02-05T19:32:00.000-08:00

another day to see her... argh! it's gonna be really hard for me to face her... i mean really i'm not angry or what it's just that like what i've said i never expected that she could possibly do something like that... haiz... never expecting that she was like that... tama nga siguro.. mei mga taong nasa loob talaga ang kulo... anywiz.. yae nah... hehehe... nangyari na eh... and besides di ako dapat magpaepekto sa kanya... diba?!

magsisimba ako today sa señor... well xempre i would ask for forgiveness sa mga ginawa ko at mga ginawa nila sa akin.. hehehe.... bait noh?! :) ganon talaga be kind to animals... hahaha... este to others... :) joke... :)

it's a friday and need ko magsimba para mag pray for the upcoming board exams on june.... I wish i could pass the exams... :)

-xoxo-

Friends?!

2009-02-05T03:48:00.000-08:00

is that what you call friends? tama ba yung naiisip ko? tama ba? ha?! friends ba ang tawag mo don?! haller?! timang ka ba?

well ayoko patulan.. so cheap!!! hahahaha..... :)

a very nice day has passed and well if i really didn't try to smile and put all the shit away edi nakasimangot na ako dapat? but i can still smile! :D

i just really didn't think of these things. i didn't think that this could possibly happen... and are you expecting me to think as if nothing happened and be friends with you again just like that? it may be easy to say but i'm sorry, i think i just can't pretend that it's okay with me.. magiging plastic lang ako... yes i did get hurt. but like what they've said hayaan ko na kasi may be it would be your happiness... duh?! ano ako martyr?! hahaha... di pa ako baliw para hayaan kang gawin yang bagay na yan... i know it's funny cause ang babaw ng pinagtatalunan... pero come to think of it... if you were in my position and i was in your's would you feel the same as what i'm feeling right now? i bet you would. hahaha.... i'm not comparing huh? pero were both girls and i know na ganun din mararamdaman moh... sana lang you just sticked with your word .

"i wouldn't fall for some one like him"

okay lang sana kung di ko s'ya ex okay lang talaga... as in i would be the one pa to set your dates with him... but hello...?!!! ex ko yun?! di mo ba alam yung simple rule of feminism? o matigas lang talaga face moh? hahahaha... sorry for the word pero yun ang napapansin ko... hehehe...

good luck with your life! happy now?

-x0xo-

sleepless night

2009-02-04T08:08:00.000-08:00

it's just so funny that i really had to make this account at the middle of the night. i was just texting with my friend and was complaining that i could not sleep and i don't have anybody to talk to. so i decided to make this blog account so that i could do something and maybe who knows i might really have this creative side of writing something. I'm just at home this whole week with nothing to do at home. watching t.v. everyday, eating, and just texting . it's like i really planned to make my body look fat. i have nothing to do. there at times that i like to sleep but i don't feel sleepy. damn! such a nice feeling huh? i hate that feeling. And the sad part of staying at home and with no one to talk to is that you get to think of things that you hate to think of. I hate thinking of him. I'm tired of expecting that things would get better soon. that things would be good again between the two of us and as if nothing has changed. that's very impossible right? it's very impossible to have this relationship back coz i think that your not worthy anymore to deserve my love. it may be so dramatic but it's true. i hate this feeling that i'm feeling right now. if i could just take you of my heart and chest i should have done that 6 years ago. if i only knew that this would happen that you would still act as if there's something between us i must have let go of this feeling. it so hard. it so hard to make decisions when you're there. you always contradict my decisions. there are times that i really don't understand why. why every time that some guy would try to court me you always contradict. you always say that that guy is so low-profiled that he would not be serious with me that he would just play games with me. and here i am 'miss stupid' who would follow what you would say and guess what i get hurt. because i see you happy with another girl. do you ever think who is the guy that plays those games on me? ain't that you?